Navigating Accountability: Understanding and Dealing with Those Who Can’t Admit When They’re Wrong

Introduction:

My name is Niecey Freeman, I am a Mindset and Accountability Coach, Self-Published Author of the Get Your Sh*t Together Workbook, single mom, and expert facilitator. In today’s blog, we are going to have a chat about people who cannot admit when they are wrong, and how to deal with them. 

Who in Your Circle Does This?

We all have seen it in one form or another, a friend, family member, acquaintance, co-worker, celebrity, and so on, has no issue with completely denying something they said or done was wrong. This looks like deferring the blame to someone else, denying everything, or simply just ignoring the topic altogether. 

While this is happening, you may question your own sanity for a brief moment before realizing, “wait, no, you were wrong!” It’s definitely hard to deal with this constantly, and sometimes you may think, “wouldn’t life be so much easier if people just admitted they were wrong?” How hard is it to say:

• What I said was wrong
• Actually, this is what happened
• I’d like to fix a statement I made before

What Causes This?

Before we discuss how to deal with people who can’t admit when they’re wrong, let’s talk about what causes this so maybe we can try ourselves to understand, rather than label someone as being stubborn, unreliable, or a liar. After all, my blog and my mission is guided by understanding one another.

It may seem as though our egos are an actual attachment to our bodies, an additional organ. And it may also seem as though this glass organ will completely shatter if we admit when we are wrong. Some of us are willing to shatter our ego-organs, because we know it will grow back eventually. People that refuse to admit when they are wrong treat this ego-organ as if once it shatters, it’s gone forever. 

Another way to think about it would be that this person is afraid of being held accountable for their actions. In a perfect world, we would all consider consequences BEFORE actions, but that’s not always the case in the real world. 

To sum it up, insecurities and fear are the top two reasons some people can’t admit when they are wrong. We can’t expect everyone to be perfect, and we can give a little grace when we know and understand the root cause.

How to deal with them:

First and foremost, it’s important for you to keep your composure. As we all know, we can’t control the actions of others, but we can control ourselves. When a situation occurs where the person you are interacting with completely denies any wrongdoing, take a moment to think about the ‘whys’ listed earlier. Keep in mind that something is driving this behavior, and offer a bit of understanding rather than judgement. It takes a bit of work, but it’s possible. 

If you’re in the type of conversation that requires the truth, and you are presented with denial, try asking open ended questions. This can help the other person talk through the timeline of what has occurred, and can sometimes help them arrive at the conclusion that a mistake was made on their part. 

I’d like for you to also keep in mind that you don’t HAVE to deal with it. It can be halted by saying “If you’re not willing to admit that you were wrong, this conversation is over.” It’s frustrating to constantly deal with someone who rarely, if ever admits that they are wrong. Set boundaries. You should protect your peace at all cost. It’s your life and as an adult, you choose who is in it. 

If It’s You:

If it’s you that cannot admit when you are wrong, here’s my advice to you:

Think of consequences of your actions prior to taking action moving forward. Use that knowledge to make better decisions so you won’t have to deny them down the road. 

In the pursuit of personal growth, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself, recognizing that the journey is as important as the destination. Avoid self-judgment and perfectionism, which can exaggerate your fear.

Acknowledge your efforts, celebrate your progress, and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Self-compassion creates a nurturing environment for growth, fostering a positive mindset.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, navigating interactions with individuals who struggle to admit when they’re wrong requires a balance of empathy, understanding, and self-preservation. As we’ve explored, the root causes of this behavior often stem from insecurities, fear, and a reluctance to face accountability. However, by fostering an environment of compassion and open dialogue, we can facilitate growth and mutual understanding.

Whether it’s offering a listening ear, asking open-ended questions, or setting healthy boundaries, each approach plays a role in fostering productive conversations. Remember, while it’s important to extend understanding to others, it’s equally crucial to prioritize your peace.

And for those of you who find yourselves on the other side, struggling to admit when you’re wrong, know that self-compassion is key. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth, recognizing that each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience and courage.

If you need additional assistance dealing with, or personally struggling to admit when you’re wrong, please use the link below and schedule a session. I’m happy to help.